Diana~ The Abandon Soul

[00Penguin]

A Long and Tedious Journey Awaits

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Username: kashew
Is This Character Canon?: No

Link to Audition Thread:N/A

Your Destiny is to Venture Upon It

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Name: Diana
Race: Human
Age: 16
Gender: Female

Your Decisions Will Decide the Outcome of the Universe

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Appearance: Diana stands at 5' 4", with long brunette hair that goes pass the shoulders about a 1f. Her bangs lay flat just barely covering the top of her light brown eyes. Her figure isn't really much just a smooth toned body. Much like everyone else Diana dresses in the clothing of her home world, Olympus Coliseum. She has two 'forms' of styles she wears, which depend on the condition of things around her. However her general clothing is a tunic that goes over the left shoulder and just covers the left breast leaving the right 'exposed'. This outfit is what she trains in when she's with her Amazonian instructor, however she feels self-conscious about it so she wears a strophim(Although it does say it exactly the image makes a mention of it.) along with her subligaculum. She has a few accessories on her, each one with a different meaning, or in some cases a purpose. On her right bicep, she wears a tarnished silver coiling bracelet. On both of her forearms she wears light tan leather bracers, due to her archery. And of course holding her tunic in place she wears a brooch. The brooch itself is an emerald stone with a miniature golden sphinx imbedded into it. Whenever Diana is not fighting she wears a stola, the stola is made out of sea silk, which explains its golden sheen. When she fighting or is about to fight Diana removes the stola. When she's not fighting the silk sash, that she wears, is wrapped loosely around her neck and it drapes over her breast. In combat, she takes the end of the sash, pulls her hair back into a ponytail and uses the sash to tie it. So one end is used for her hair and the rest of it is wrapped around her neck with the other end draped over her left breast.

Personality:

EGeneral Persona: She has a quiet demeanor which is pretty much the reason shefs never the conversation starter. Her run of things are this, if youfre her target shefll take you out when you lease expect it; if youfre not shefll possibly talk to you but shefll try to cut it off as kindly as possible. For the most part she always has to change things around if it starts to get too personal, if cutting it off nicely doesnft work shefll start acting rude and walk off ignoring the person if it comes to that.

EInner Thought Process: She purposely put up the front in a way to hide and protect herself from having the same mistake happen again. On the inside when she thinks about friends, she starts straining and like a curse her body will react horribly.

EFears: Her two main fears are linked together on what happened that unfortunate day: Being abandon, and nightmares of that day

EPleasures: Being in crowds she feels that she won't be abandon and that no one can assault her in public view.

EQuirks: On certain words she has a violent reaction on her body. In most cases itfs just throwing up, but there are other times when her reaction is different.

But With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

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Character Class: N/A
Stats:

EStrength: 8

ECunning: 12

EAgility: 15

Abilities:

Weapons:

Weapons:
Primary Weapon Name: Artemis
Primary Weapon Type: Range Weapon - Crossbow
Primary Weapon Description: Artemis is a downgraded ballista. (Which is basically a crossbow, but thats beside the point.) An interesting attachment to Artemis is that at the end of it, the head of stag is carved into it which allows it to act both as an interesting ornament, and the sight for the weapon itself.

Secondary Weapon Name: Zephyrus
Secondary Weapon Type: Range Weapon - Short Bow
Secondary Weapon Description: Zephyrus is a short bow that was etched into the appearance of a set of wings. Not much can be explain except that it was design in dedication to the God of the West Wind.

Both of these weapons share the same ammunition. In total there are five quivers, each holding twenty arrows each. Giving a total of 100 arrows.

Items:
• Potion x 2
•

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But Your History Decides Your Version of "Responsibility"

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History:Diana has lived on the street as far back as she could remember and for the most part it wasnft much of a thrill. Stealing from other people to survive, having to go through garbage to eat, and anything else thatfs just plain dirty and unhealthy. It wouldfve seemed that that was what her life was going to be, after all she seen it before. Shefs going to grow old and become one of the elderly beggars that the other kids steal from everyday. However in one day her outlook on what her life was going to be changed dramatically. A few of the street children, including herself, were out looking for food to steal when they got into some trouble with the local baker. Diana was the youngest so being logical here, she was the slowest and well the one to be left behind when the baker started chasing after them with a rolling bin. Diana ended up running into a dead end where the baker caught her and was about to beat her to the afterlife, but a boy about two years older than her came out of nowhere. In a not so heroic way, he took the beatings and protected her from most of the damage. After the baker left, Diana, struggling tried to drag the injured boy and she tried tending to his injuries. After he had recovered, she had to ask him why he did what he did. His answer was childish if not naïve but it actually brought some hope she never thought she would get. Afterwards she just stuck to him, looking up to him like a big brother. They survived well, eating together, him telling her stories of heroes past, and just being there for her. It was all good, surviving in the thick and thin of things, but it didnft last long. After hearing a few rumors about a guy who trained heroes, the boy wanted to go and find this person and become a hero. Diana didnft take the announcement very well and just became stubborn in not wanting him to go. To calm her down, the boy made a promise to her, if she was ever in trouble all she had to do was call his name and he would come to rescue her. It did calm Diana down, even though she was still against him leaving, but in the end she let him go quietly. For the few weeks that followed she felt lonely andc well pretty much sad. However it didnft last long. Diana was making her way back ehomef when she was attacked by some thugs. And in a censored manner, they did this and that as she cried and screamed both for help and her friend. Before long she blacked-out, it only seemed several minutes but when she came to again all she could figure out was that she was being carried away and the scene behind her was bloody and disgusting and she faded out again. When she came toc again, a woman was tending to her. After she had fully recovered, she learned that she was saved by a man, who gave her to the Amazons and just said that he would like to talk to her when she better. Diana wasnft exactly in any mood to thank anyone what with what happened to her. The Amazon that was caring for eofferedf to show her how to defend herself and become like an Amazon. Although Diana didnft want to train, the Amazon wouldnft take no for an answer and just trained her anyways. In the end it did help Diana recover a little bit, and she felt like she needed to thank her savior. But like any group, the Amazons would let her go so Diana had to sneak out in the night. After many days of traveling, and with just a piece of parchment that was left to her by this man, she soon found him. He just basically welcomed her with opens arms, not really bothered by the fact it took her so long to come to him. He offered her a home, food, comfort everything that was basic, but more importantly he offered to her a better friend after they had talked and she told him her tale up to that point. The only thing he asked in return was that she does errands and jobs for him, which she gladly took. So now she lives as a bodyguard to him, doing her job with skills of an Amazon, and that of someone determined not to have what was in past to happen again.

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[00Penguin]

ABILITY NAME Aim
ABILITY TYPE Standard
ABILITY DESCRIPTION Rule #96! Take a turn to make sure your next shot lands home. After using Aim, a regular attack on your next turn will be twice as accurate. Works with melee, ranged, and thrown weapons. Cannot be used with another Ability.
USAGE Unlimited. Requires one turn to activate.
RANGE Self
ELEMENT None
POWER Weak
SKILL REQUIRED 1 Agility
COST 75 Munny

ABILITY NAME Jump Boost
ABILITY TYPE Standard
ABILITY DESCRIPTION Characters with this Ability can jump 15 feet into the air at will.
USAGE Passive, unlimited
RANGE Self
ELEMENT None
POWER Weak
SKILL REQUIRED 5 Agility Discount: 10 Agility
COST 100 Munny

ABILITY NAME Ranged Weapon Trainee
ABILITY TYPE Advancement
ABILITY DESCRIPTION Basic training with throwing knives, bow and arrows, pistols, and similar 'reach out and touch someone' weapons. Ranged attacks are now twice as accurate as untrained and slightly more powerful.This ability cannot be stacked with other Weapon Advancement abilities.
USAGE Passive; constant effect
RANGE Self
ELEMENT None
POWER Weak
SKILL REQUIRED 5 Agility Discount: 10 Agility
COST 100 Munny

ABILITY NAME Unarmed Combat Trainee
ABILITY TYPE Advancement
ABILITY DESCRIPTION Who says you need a weapon? Be your own weapon! Unarmed melee attacks are now twice as powerful as untrained and slightly more accurate.This ability cannot be stacked with other Weapon Advancement abilities.
USAGE Passive; constant effect
RANGE Self
ELEMENT None
POWER Weak
SKILL REQUIRED 5 Strength (or) 5 Agility Discount: 10 Strength (or) 10 Agility
COST 100 Munny

ABILITY NAME Rapid Shot
ABILITY TYPE Standard
ABILITY DESCRIPTION Where normally you would only be able to launch so many arrows, fire so many shots, or throw so many knives in a single turn, now you can temporarily double your output.
USAGE Four times per battle.
RANGE Minimum 7 feet, maximum 30
ELEMENT None
POWER Weak
SKILL REQUIRED 15 Agility
ABILITY REQUIRED Ranged Weapon Trainee
COST 250 Munny

ABILITY NAME Basic Parkour
ABILITY TYPE Standard
ABILITY DESCRIPTION Parkour is the art of moving quickly and fluidly through an obstacled area, such as a city, town, forest, or cave setting, with superior climbing, jumping, balance, and acrobatic maneuvers. Basic parkour skills allow for characters to flee, dodge, and elude pursuit as well as overcome difficult terrain better than the average person.
USAGE Passive; constant effect
RANGE Self
ELEMENT None
POWER Weak
SKILL REQUIRED 15 Agility
COST 250 Munny

ABILITY NAME Ranged Weapon Student
ABILITY TYPE Advancement
ABILITY DESCRIPTION Average training with throwing knives, bow and arrows, pistols, and similar 'reach out and touch someone' weapons. Ranged attacks are now three times as accurate as untrained and moderately more powerful. Replaces Ranged Weapon Trainee. This ability cannot be stacked with other Weapon Advancement abilities.
USAGE Passive; constant effect
RANGE Self
ELEMENT None
POWER Average
SKILL REQUIRED 10 Agility Discount: 15 Agility
COST 200 Munny


[hp=16/16]

And So with discounts included on selected items my total should be...

1325 SC.

Right?

[Admin]

Your history is not nearly long enough, my dear. Also, could you specify just how much ammo your character carries on them at a time? Also, please skim over your profile and do a grammar check, please.

Thanks!

[00Penguin]

Modify?

Added the ammo, if it's too much I'll take some out.

I'm not sure if the history is a little better and I'm sorry about the grammar. It's not one of my fortes.

[Admin]

You still did not modify the history. Please add more detail and correct your typing errors. The minimum for history is 300 words.

[00Penguin]

Okay I'll admit it, I didn't have a good history the first time around... or the second time.

But hey maybe third times the charm.

Modify.

[Rocket!]

Erm.

Well.

Wow.

Lookit that history.

o.o

Kashew, you crazy person you!

Okay, I'm still seein' grammatical errors like you wouldn't believe, m'afraid. However, most all of it comes off as a jittery sort of stylistic approach, and it does get the job done.

Next time though, I'd appreciate it if ya gave a little more effort in the grammar department. ^^;

Approv'd an' lock'd an' mov'd!

[Admin]

Rejected and back to the drawing board.

I ask that you please LIST a homeworld, as Rocket knows the rules of this but seemingly forgot.

Also, if you choose Agrabah, you cannot have GUNS for your weapons.

You see, Agrabah is not a highly advanced place...

Please read up on our Open and Closed World System, please!

[00Penguin]

...What?!

Okay I'm completely lost now. First it was my history, then it was the grammar, and now this!

I'm completely lost, you mind sending me a pm with all this information down to the tinies detail. Seriously this is making it more difficult for me than before. And all did was ask for a quest with her. I think I'll go shoot myself over this.

[Rocket!]

*scratches head*

Sorry. xD Looks like I made a boo-boo.

Grav's saying we have no idea what her homeworld is in the profile. Just mention the world's name in the history somewhere, and we'll be good. ^^

...eh?

Eh.

Grav's also saying Agrabah has no guns.

Because... it's Agrabah. And they don't make guns there. Crossbows, sure! Guns, not so much.

So, I'd recommend a weapon change or a homeworld change on that matter.

Sorry again! ^^;

[00Penguin]

After many days of freaking out, rethinking, editing and several frozen Twinkies. This character is ready for approval...

Excuse me while I go and throw up now.

[White]

What needs Fixing

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Appearance & Personality

• *passed the shoulders
  
• *lay flat,
  
• *Her figure isn't something that could bragged about. From her training, she's built up a toned body, it's not muscle-bound just smoothed out.
  
• *Much like everyone else Diana dress in the clothing of her homeworld. (This should also be a new paragraph)
  
• *However, her general clothing is a tunic that goes over the left shoulder and just covers the left breast, leaving the right exposed.
  
• Her right breast is exposed? I certainly hope you mean her right shoulder is exposed, might want to mention that in case. =P
  
• You’re gonna have to tell me what a strophim is. I tried looking it up but couldn’t find anything.
  
• *She has a few accessories (Another new paragraph please)
  
• *Now as mentioned before (New paragraph)
  
• *Whenever Diana is not fighting, she wears a stola to cover her body.
  
• *When she is fighting or getting ready to fight, Diana removes the stola to show her clothing.
  
• *An important item that shows what she's in is a silk sash she wears around her neck.
  
• *When she's not fighting, the sash is wrapped loosely around her neck and it drapes over her breast.
  
• *So, one end used for her hair, the rest of it is wrapped around her neck and the other end drapes over her left breast.
  General Persona:
  
• *She’s
  
• *She does, however, act friendly if you’re not her target. But if
  
• *Once she knows you as a "friend" she'll talk to you, but
  Inner Though Process
  
• *In reality, she's scarred on a mental level.
  
• *When she thinks about friends, she starts straining and almost like a curse, her body will react in some way or another.
  Fears:
  
• *being abandoned, and dreams of that day.
  Pleasures:
  
• *Being in crowds. When she's in a crowd, she feels that she won't be abandoned and that no one would assault her in public view.
  Quirks:
  
• *On keywords, she acts or her body reacts violently or rude.
  

History

• We need a home world mentioned in the history, please.
  
• *Diana lived on the street as far as her memories go, and for the most part, it wasn’t a thrill.
  
• *and anything that’s just
  
• *It would’ve seemed that was what her life was going to be.
  
• *She had seen it before.
  
• *Well, her hopes
  
• *Diana was the youngest. So, being logical here, she was the slowest and the one to be left behind.
  
• *After the baker left
  
• *and she did pretty well.
  
• *she had asked him
  
• *but it struck a chord
  
• *Afterwards, she stuck to him
  
• *it didn’t last long
  
• *Diana didn’t
  
• *she felt lonely and sad
  
• *However, it didn’t last long
  
• *her way back home
  
• *Before long, she blacked-out. It only seemed several minutes, but when she came to
  
• *and disgusting, then she faded out again
  
• *When she came to again
  
• *and said that he would like to talk to her when she was better.
  
• *Diana wasn’t exactly
  
• *that was caring for her offered
  
• *Diana didn’t want
  
• *the Amazon wouldn’t take no for an answer and trained her anyways
  
• *the Amazons wouldn’t let her go,
  
• After many days of traveling (New paragraph)
  
• *He welcomed her with open arms
  
• *home, food, comfort, everything that was basic.
  
• *But more importantly, he offered her a better friend after she had told him her tale up to that point.
  
• *was that she do errands and jobs for him, which she gladly did.
  

Other Comments
This seems to be completely different from the character you originally posted. Am I right?

[00Penguin]

...

That's... alot of things...


Anyways, I did say rethinking, editing, and eating frozen Twinkies.

Of course the only things that had major changes to them are the appearance, the weapons and the name. The personality I didn't touch, and the history only had more added into it.

So even though it maybe a 'new' character it's just old character with new stuff. Much like, and excuse me if this isn't a good comparison, Megaman... same character just new weapons, enemies, etc. etc.

Now excuse me while I go and throw up... again. Afterwards I'll work on her.

[00Penguin]

Just tire... didn't as much of the problems as I can. So yeah, sorry if I didn't get all of them.

[Rocket!]

Woah there, White! xD While less than grammatically correct, Penguin (, James Penguin...) got his intent across. Language's is a modicum of communication, and while sometimes an art, we can't be too stingy. While grammar's important, try not to burn his house to the ground with the rapid fire delivery, okay? xD

No worries, no worries. ^^

SIR PENGUIN! ALL SEEMS WELL BY MINE EYE, SAVE ONE THING!

Why are there Amazons in Ancient Greece?