Damon Padrone di Burattino

[Dream Flyer]

A Long and Tedious Journey Awaits

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Username:dreamflyer
Is This Character Canon?: no

Link to Audition Thread:n/a

Your Destiny is to Venture Upon It

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Name: Damon Padrone di Burattino
Race: Human
Age:23
Gender: Male
Homeworld: Olympus Coliseum

Your Decisions Will Decide the Outcome of the Universe

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Appearance:Damon Padrone di Burattino

Personality:

•General Persona: Damon is a quiet guy, as long as he isn't slaughtering someone. He acts calm except during battle which he goes crazy. He tries to remain unnoticed. He likes a good joke but never laughs. He is generally stoic. He does not show off. He only does what is nessicary and nothing else, except killing.

•Inner Thought Process: Major serial killer. Damon is a very kind person but does not know how to show it, except with animals other than cats. He hates cats. He is very wise at times. He is able to tell if someone is planning something but nothing beyond that. He is very emotional. He loves showing off.

•Fears: He fears running out of puppets, becoming a puppet, and being asked to dance at a ball and not knowing how.

•Pleasures: Damon likes spilling blood, torturing people physically and mentally, and puppies.

•Quirks: Likes taste and smell of blood.

But With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

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Character Class: Initiate, Tier1
Stats:

•Strength:2

•Cunning:15

•Agility:13

Abilities: [ Insert the Link to your Abilities post here. It should be posted under this topic-starting post. Skill Rank Abilities need to have an (S) by them.]

Weapons:

Weapons:
Primary Weapon Name: Soul Puppets
Primary Weapon Type: Melee
Primary Weapon Description: Damon captured the souls of fallen warriors and controls them and the soul's body as a puppet. He controls them with his mind but when can't concentrate he can use soul strings which require him to use his hands. This leaves open for close attacks if he can't get the soul puppets their in time.(Damon can only use one at a time and three in a thread and first three used are ones usable for thread. Will be able to use more at once and per thread as gets stronger.)
Clym The Tortured,Damos The Black Knight, Siegfred The Frozen Knight, Ziraz The Damned, Shira The Forsaken, Divez The Slain, Heru The Tainted, Nezel The Soulless

Secondary Weapon Name:Puppetmaster's Sword
Secondary Weapon Type:Melee
Secondary Weapon Description:A simple sword used for defense for when a puppetmaster's puppets are not enough. (see pic)

Items:
•
•
•
•

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But Your History Decides Your Version of "Responsibility"

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History: Damon Padrone di Burattino was born Damon Sirku on Olympus Coliseum. His early childhood was normal. Watched fights in the Coliseum, admire heroes, fall down alot, the usual stuff. When he was 7 it all changed. He was watching a match with his parents and a monster cut the hero sending blood into the crowd. Most of the blood landed on Damon, some even getting in his mouth. His parents expected him to puke from the taste but he swallowed what was in his mouth and licked off his lips. His parents were scared. After the match they were taking him home. A monster had gotten loose from the Coliseum. It attacked them, killing his parents and coating him in blood. Right before the beast could kill him the hero attacked it. He killed it but at a great cost it had stabbed him with its tail. He was badly injured and died after getting Damon to safety. Damon had heard stories about the Underworld, and that is where he was gonna go. He headed there so he could hopefully see his parents one last time and thank the hero. When he got there he ended up getting lost. He wondered into a creepy chamber. He saw the hero's soul standing in front of a cloaked man. The man looked around to see Damon. How would you like to have power little boy? The man asked Damon. Damon nodded his head after a few seconds. You wish is granted Clym. You are now free from the Underworld but you are now his puppet. The man shot a fireball looking thing at Damon which entered his chest. He is now under your control. What will you call him? Clym The Tortured Wonderful now to show you how to use him. For the next 2 years Damon stayed in the Underworld learning how to control Clym The Tortured. On the last day of the second year the man gave Damon the power to create more soul puppets. He was then dubbed Damon Padrone di Burattino and sent to use his power. He traveled around the Underworld for 13 years increasing his collection and honing his skills. Now he has resurfaced to reek chaos on the world.

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I know I put Hades in there alot but it fits with his history and noone has him so didn't know who to ask. Plus he isn't on the canon list so wasn't sure if he was in plot or anything if i have to change his history so it doesn't have Hades in it I will try my best.

[Dream Flyer]

Physical:
-Advancement Abilities: 1
-Standard Abilities: 3
-Specialty Abilities: 0

Magical:
-Advancement Abilities: 0
-Standard Abilities: 7
-Specialty Abilities: 0

Weapon Abilities: 2
Equipment Abilities:0

Empty Custom Slots: 1
Empty Summon Slots: 0

Weapon
Fire Aura-300
Ice Aura-300

Physical
Dodge Roll-50
Bladed Weapon Trainee-50
Jump Boost-50
Basic Counterattack-75

Magic
Fireball-(S)
Ice Arrow-(S)
Lightning Bolt-(S)
Wind-(S)
Stone Spike-(S)
Dark Burst-100
Light Burst-100

Special
Magic Missle-(S)

Custom

ABILITY NAME- True Puppet
ABILITY TYPE - Standard
ABILITY DESCRIPTION- Damon can have his puppet use any of his abilities. This sacrifices his ability to use the ability for the rest of thread but the puppet gets all the uses.
USAGE- 3 per thread
RANGE- puppet
ELEMENT- none
POWER- Weak
SKILL REQUIRED- none
COST (S)

[hp=30/30]

I believe that is a total of 1025 so take 25 out of my account.

[Rhea]

Personality
I’m sorry, but that personality is completely impossible. You can’t say he’s a kind person who also likes to kill people for fun. “Major serial killer. Damon is a very kind person...” Just look at that. Does it sound right at all? You can say he likes animals...but he’s still not ‘kind.’ You could say he appears to be a nice person at first glance and that he likes animals. But if he’s a killer, he’s a killer. He’s not even remorseful; he enjoys it. Clearly this isn’t a kind person.

There needs to be so much more information here, even though you have five sentences. Why is he a killer? Is he insane? What exactly is wrong with him? Why is he calm except in battle?

In General Persona you say he does not show off, and he tries to go unnoticed. In the Inner Thought Process you say he loves showing off. Which one is it?

“He fears running out of puppets, becoming a puppet, and being asked to dance at a ball and not knowing how.” That sounds ridiculous. (There are no Balls in Olympus, anyways.)
“Damon likes spilling blood, torturing people physically and mentally, and puppies.” That also sounds ridiculous. I almost think you’re joking about this character when you say things like that.

Overall, you’re going to want to completely rework this personality. Try to make it flow better and explain everything in enough detail that it actually makes sense. And no crazy conflicting ideas like he likes to show off and he doesn’t show off.


History
First of all, no, you can’t have Hades in your history. Next time, feel free to PM any of the staff. There are a few of us. You also may make a thread or even ask in the Cbox.
He also can’t go into the Underworld. Only the dead can enter the Underworld. Yes, living characters are there in the game, but on DS that isn’t allowed.

You should probably explain why he’s swallowing blood and thinking this is okay at seven years old. And he’s probably not going to start becoming a serial killer at seven either.

Pretty much...I’d rewrite the entire history, honestly.


Weapons & Abilities
Your primary weapon isn’t a weapon at all. That’s a Superior Summon. You’re going to have to delete that and store the idea for later. Once your character has 35 cunning you can get this:

ABILITY NAME Summon
ABILITY TYPE Standard
ABILITY DESCRIPTION A Custom Ability specifically for bringing one or more creatures of magical/unnatural nature to the battlefield to fight for you. The summon remains for five turns before vanishing and cannot be re-summoned for five turns. If the summon is defeated in battle it cannot be re-summoned during that battle. The summon may have Abilities of its own -- see Custom Abilities thread for details. Like any Custom Ability, summons must be approved by staff before they can be used.
USAGE
RANGE
ELEMENT
POWER Average
SKILL REQUIRED 35 Cunning Discount: 50 Cunning
COST 500 Munny

Which would be ONE summon or multiple weak ones, not eight strong summons. You can’t just get all of that for free as a weapon, no way.

This would make your custom ability void, so you’ll have to make a new one. Make sure you include how many skill points are required for that ability.

If you choose to make another weapon, you’ll need to specify to which weapon the weapon abilities are attached.

Grammar/Spelling
Please use spell check before posting. There’s a spell check built into Proboards. If you use Firefox, there’s also a nifty built in spell check that underlines misspelled words. And of course there are always programs such as Word that underline spelling and grammatical errors for your convenience.

Dialogue should be in quotations, even in your history. Every time a new person is speaking it should be a new paragraph. Paragraphs are also nice to break up big blocks of text. It makes it easier to read, your history was little much for one paragraph.



You’ve got a lot to do here. Let me or anyone else in the staff know if you have any questions or need help.

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[Rhea]

Friendly warning: it's been a week since I replied. You have one more week to edit. If you don't, the profile will be automatically denied for the sake of organization. If it's denied you can always request to have it moved back here so you can make edits.

[Rhea]

It's been two weeks.
Denied.